Rediscover Your True Self and Recover from Your Eating Disorder

Each year, thousands of people develop eating disorders or struggle with weight and body image issues. Eating disorders can affect anyone, regardless of age, race, or gender. However, data shows that the seeds of eating disorders are often sown during the teenage years and are twice as prevalent among females than males, and transgender and nonbinary people also experience eating disorders at higher rates. Disorders like anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder involve more than just food; they are complex conditions often rooted in emotional and psychological struggles. Using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model can provide a deeper understanding and more effective treatment approach for these disorders.

Understanding Eating Disorders through the lens of Internal Family System

Internal Conflicts and Parts:

The IFS model views the mind as composed of various parts, each with its own roles and motivations. Eating disorders can be understood as manifestations of internal conflicts among these parts. For instance, some parts may use food to cope with overwhelming emotions, while others may control food intake to manage feelings of powerlessness or anxiety.

Anorexia, Bulimia, and Binge Eating: The Role of Protective Parts and Their Impact

Anorexia:

If you have anorexia, you might have a distorted view of your body size and a real fear of weight gain. You may restrict food intake or engage in excessive exercise to feel in control. In IFS terms, these behaviors are driven by protective parts that manage anxiety and fear by avoiding food. The physical effects of anorexia are severe, as your body goes into starvation mode. This leads to low blood pressure, hair loss, brittle bones, and other health issues due to lack of nutrition, which affects both your physical and cognitive functions.

Bulimia:

Bulimia involves cycles of binge eating followed by purging to prevent weight gain. This behavior can be seen as a conflict between parts: one part seeks comfort through food, while another part attempts to maintain control by purging. Both sets of behaviors are attempts to manage deeper emotional pain. The physical effects of bulimia include constant stomach pain, tooth decay from frequent vomiting, heart problems due to electrolyte imbalance, and other severe health issues. The cycle of binging and purging can be seen as a manifestation of internal conflicts between parts seeking relief and those trying to maintain control.

Binge Eating:

Binge eating disorder is characterized by consuming large amounts of food in a short period, often accompanied by a feeling of being out of control. Unlike bulimia, binge eating is not followed by purging behaviors. In IFS terms, binge eating can be understood as the action of firefighter parts that attempt to soothe and distract from overwhelming emotions and the pain of exiles. The physical effects of binge eating include weight gain, obesity, and related health issues such as diabetes, heart disease, and gastrointestinal problems. The emotional effects can be equally damaging, leading to feelings of shame, guilt, and further emotional distress.

Inner Emptiness and Disconnecting from Self

Underlying Causes and Inner Emptiness:

Eating disorders often stem from unhealed emotional wounds, trauma, and a pervasive feeling of inner emptiness. Disconnecting from your Self creates a profound sense of shame and emptiness. The Self, which embodies qualities like calmness, curiosity, compassion, and confidence, becomes obscured by these protective parts. This disconnection leads to feelings of being out of control, chaotic, hollow, and full of shame. You may not know who you truly are and feel disconnected from your core identity.

Having an eating disorder provides something to base your identity on: "I am a bulimic," etc. Many of my clients have expressed worries such as, "I feel disconnected, hopeless, scared, lost in a meaningless void," "It feels like a profound core wound related to not feeling wanted and loved," and "I have no idea who I am." If your eating disorder defines who you are, then giving it up can feel like uprooting your very identity, which may seem dangerous. Since it feels as if there is nothing on the inside of you, the outside (size, shape, appearance) becomes crucially important. The IFS model identifies these as Exiles—vulnerable parts carrying pain and unmet needs. Protective parts, such as managers and firefighters, engage in unusual eating behaviors to shield these Exiles from further hurt and to cope with the emptiness.

Treatment Approach:

The treatment approach in IFS begins by creating a safe environment where your parts can express themselves. Gentle methods, such as guided visualizations, somatic awareness, breath and movement are used to identify and connect with protectors. Recognizing and differentiating the parts involved in the eating disorder is essential. Understanding their roles, intentions, and fears, and fostering a compassionate relationship with them, helps in addressing the disorder. Encouraging open communication between these parts allows them to express concerns and viewpoints, facilitating mutual understanding and cooperation towards a common goal of healing.

Reclaiming and Building Self-leadership is crucial for recovery. Your Self is the person you were meant to be—a deep-seated source of compassion, calm, personal strength, and wisdom that you can access at any time. When you are connected with your Self, you feel whole and filled inside. Like the foundation of a pyramid, the stability and strength of your Self support you, no matter what challenges you face.

The Self provides stable and compassionate leadership to facilitate the healing process. This is vital when addressing the underlying feelings of inner emptiness held by the Exiled parts. By cultivating a compassionate and nurturing relationship with the Self, the vulnerable parts starts to feel recognized and acceped without judgment. The Selfs' ability to bear witness to past traumas and unmet needs helps release emotional burdens and provides the necessary emotional support for healing. Furthermore identifying and implementing healthy ways to fulfill emotional needs also involves building supportive relationships, engaging in meaningful activities, and practicing self-care. 

Conclusion

Using the Internal Family Systems model to understand and treat eating disorders offers a compassionate and comprehensive path to healing. By addressing both the behavioral manifestations and the underlying emotional emptiness, you can achieve lasting recovery and develop a healthier relationship with food and yourself. This approach offers the possibiity for you to reconnect with your true Self, fostering inner stability and resilience. As a therapist, I have seen the profound and transformative impact of this approach, guiding my clients towards a more integrated, balanced, and fulfilling life. Embracing the IFS model can be a powerful

step towards healing, self-discovery, and lasting well-being.

This blog is inspirered by the book: An internal Family System guide to recovery from Eating disorders, Healing part by Part. Written by Amy Yandel Grabowski